Too Much Too Soon

I look back in contemplation…
To the years gone by…
And I find too much too soon
Intruding my life

I ne’er did worry
For I was born with a silver spoon
But in the matters of heart
I went through too much too soon

I feel like a boxer
Who’d been beaten and thrashed ‘gain n again
But his wounds will heal and he’ll be stronger…
Unlike me who still bleeds and winces…

I m bruised…
Beaten black and blue
Yet I push myself
In the search of love, true
I take a chance
I bet, my only bet
And hope that at least this time, for once
Someone comes by, and all hurt, I forget

The hurt weighs heavy on my heart
And I am tired of the ends and the starts
I try to breathe more
But I find no air
I feel claustrophobic even in a huge room
Yes I have felt too much too soon…



©Manashi Pathak

Confusion Suprême

First impressions… say nothing. Not even second impressions. As you delve into different universes you unravel many more stars, asteroids, baby universes forming and outright destroying black holes in each of those universes. Guided by some rules (don’t know who formed them) you form opinions about everything in life. You see the world in black, white, whitish gray, blackish gray or simply gray. You do your calculations and come to decisions on this color coding and just as you are happily sailing through it all, your doctor tells you “you are colorblind!” .May be all this while you were looking at the negatives instead of the positives of the film. Perceptions change… Change is what drives our lives. And this perplexity of not being able to see the right from the wrong, the not-so-right from the not-so-wrong leads to the ever-prevailing state of “Confusion Suprême”. Certainty is an endangered species these days. Anchors have long been obsolete. No doubt that the human mind has evolved so highly so as to tackle the entanglement. But what about fellow mortals who still have many knots in their lives…
What about those marooned shipmen who still swim in the whirlpools of confusion… May be they just live with their beloved Confusion like you do with a stray cockroach in your kitchen…

©Manashi Pathak

BURN OUT

In the entangling jungle of loose ends and thinning threads
I attempt a way out…
Often losing my way…
As Kurt has uttered so truly…
I’d rather burn out…
Than fade away…

Every time I am bruised
I swear not to fall into traps so vicious…
I keep away, I am wary…
But the eternal quest takes control
I build a shield all around me, am cautious…
But the silent war leaves me dreary…

I am human, not a robot
Still I program myself not to feel
To live through my Today, forget Tomorrow
To snap out of reveries and face real deal…

Don’t think am complaining
It’s just some melancholy talking…
Life has been too good for me
Am thankful to Him for blessing me…

Don’t judge me or curse me
I have my share of unmet expectations
No matter how much I refrain, they manifest themselves
And words are my only means of expression

So again I delve into the murky world of my mind
Searching for an ember or an emerald that would shine
A gem that I’ll treasure forever
But I find too much mud, filth
An absence of trust, a lot of stealth
A broken piece of glass that bleeds my finger…


And again in the entangling jungle of loose ends and thinning threads
I attempt a way out…
Often losing my way…
As Kurt has uttered so truly…
I’d rather burn out…
Than fade away…

©Manashi Pathak